Leadership lessons from the ‘Special One’

Saturday August 21, 2010

Leadership lessons from the ‘Special One’

SCIENCE OF BUILDING LEADERS
By ROSHAN THIRAN

“Ferguson is right. Money does not guarantee success. I showed that last season when my Porto team beat Manchester United. It’s all about leadership.” – Jose Mourinho

DURING the recent World Cup, I studied the work of leadership guru cum hostage negotiator George Kohlrieser on high performance teams.

As the new football season kicked off, I started to think about high performance sports teams. And immediately, one name comes to mind – José Mário dos Santos Félix Mourinho.

Jose Mourinho has built three high performance teams in the past few years. The moment he takes over the team, they quickly gel, start to perform and win trophies. How does Mourinho do it?

When Mourinho was asked what the secret to his success was, he humbly responded: “I pray a lot. I believe in God. I try to be a good man so He can have a bit of time to give me a hand when I need it.”

Mourinho may pray a lot but so do other coaches. Mourinho is probably the only coach who has a PhD, earning it from Lisbon’s Technical University.

But praying or having a PhD does not explain how he seamlessly builds high performance teams?

Let’s explore this paradoxical man. Mourinho, with his trademark Armani suit, is called crazy by some and genius by others. Despot and kind. Godly and arrogant. Loved and hated.

Yet, regardless of which team one supports, everyone, including women, has high respect for “The Special One”.

In fact, when Mourinho left his old club Chelsea, his archrivals Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger moaned his departure.

Even British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was sad.

In a recent AOS survey, Mourinho topped a poll of celebrities that most office workers would want as their boss.

He won the poll convincingly beating Richard Branson, Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Jamie Oliver and others.

For corporate employees, Mourinho is the “Chosen One”, someone they secretly wish would transform their workplace.

So how does Mourinho keep creating these high performance teams?

According to Kohlrieser in his book Hostage at the Table, there are eight key pillars to high performance leadership:

1) Leading from the mind’s eye – the power of focus;

2) Cycle of bonding – motivation, inspiration, resilience;

3) Leader as secure base – creating trust to drive change;

4) Conflict resolution – resolving differences;

5) Power of dialogue – building bridges with common understandings;

6) High impact negotiation – influencing and persuading;

7) Leveraging strengths – team self-awareness; and

8) Managing emotions – creating high energy.

Leading from the mind’s eye

Mourinho wanted to be a professional football player like his father Felix. But he was so untalented that it ended in embarrassing failure when he was not even allowed on the field.

Mourinho quit football and went to business school. But after just a day, he quit and enrolled in a sports science course, deciding to become the world’s greatest coach instead. And since that day he has kept his mind’s eye focused on being the best coach in the world.

At Porto, Chelsea, Inter Milan and now Real Madrid, Mourinho’s mind’s eye keeps him focused on winning. Even in defeat, he refuses to take the role of loser.

Every team he has managed quickly bounces back from losses because their leader has his mind’s eye fixated on nothing but success.

“It’s no fluke that after a defeat, Inter gets straight back on its feet. That’s all thanks to Mourinho,” claims Diego Milito, an Inter Milan star. In fact, winning is so engraved as Mourinho expresses: “I love players who love to win. They not only win in 90 minutes, but every day, every training session, in every moment of their lives”.

The entire team’s mind’s eye is focused on winning.

Cycle of bonding

Mourinho creates bonds with every single player in his team and personally knows each of them. Mourinho is known for his great “rapport” with his players.

He knows each player intimately and knows which button to press for each player. Some say Mourinho is avuncular and caring, while others say he is an intimidating tyrant.

Neither is true. He simply worked out how to use differing training methods for each player. “His training sessions are spectacular,” says Ronaldo. “They have great intensity but we don’t feel tired because we are extremely motivated.”

Every team Mourinho coaches, bonds like a family. Mourinho adds: “You must create a positive atmosphere and make everyone feel part of the group. In this club, if you go to the barrier, the man at the door feels part of the group and success. The people who work in the kitchen feel part of this family. And I’m one of them.”

Leaders as secure base

Research shows that teams perform best when their leader is a secure base. Mourinho was a coach, friend and secure base to all his players wherever he went. Even with personal issues, he was highly visible and accessible to all players.

The day Mourinho bid farewell to his Chelsea players, there was tears everywhere. He knew them all including their wives and kids and mentioned each one during his three hour farewell.

Inter’s Milito says: “There is no coach like him when it comes to sticking his neck out and defending everyone, that way reducing the tension within the team when things aren’t going well.”

Mourinho is the players’ secure base. Frank Lampard attests of Mourinho: “I love him as a man and as a manager.”

Conflict resolution

All high performance teams are faced with conflict. According to Kohlrieser, high performance teams “put the fish on the table”. By putting the “smelly fish”, or conflict on the table, there is opportunity for everyone to see these issues and work to its resolution.

Mourinho does similarly by constantly delivering feedback and performance assessments to each player. Some players may not like having the “fish on the table”. Joe Cole once received some stinging feedback but took it under his chin and started performing.

Power of dialogue and language

When Mourinho went to Italy, he said: “I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans.”

It is said that Mourinho speaks 17 languages. He uses the power of dialogue and language to build common understanding of the clear goals he has set for his team.

A self-confessed fan of Ferguson, Mourinho not only became Ferguson’s close friend but great rival. Their bond and dialogue enabled two strong-willed men to build a friendship in spite of their rivalry. Mourinho uses dialogue and language to ensure every single player on his team has similar friendships with him and clear understanding of the end goal.



High impact negotiation

In March 2007, Chelsea was being outclassed in the first half of a Champion League game losing 1-0. A few minutes before half-time, Mourinho angrily storms out.

Chelsea came out of the dressing room a completely new team, winning the game. This happened numerous times throughout Mourinho’s career. Why does his half-time talk always work? He does not yell, he does not scream but he negotiates and influences his players to change.

“I asked the players to enjoy the situation,” Mourinho said of one of his half-time talks. “We had 45 minutes to change things, and I asked them ‘are you scared of it or are you going to enjoy it?’ Psychologically, I just made the players think a little bit.”

According to sports psychologist Andy Barton: “Mourinho will always look to turn a negative into a positive. If a team is 3-0 down at half time and the manager starts screaming about all the mistakes made, it doesn’t help. Instead he’ll focus on things they are doing right, and then tell them how they can turn the game around.”

Mourinho is very specific about what is required to win and influences his players to build a mental image of what is needed.

He spends significant amount of time preparing each player differently for games. He influences and persuades big stars to train and conform to his team patterns.

He treats them all as equals.



Leveraging strengths

Mourinho is a man who knows his strengths and limitations. He once said: “If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt!”

Mourinho understood what he was good at and what each member of his team was capable off. He worked within the strengths of his team and gets the best of each individual. Jim Collins, in his book Good to Great, talks about how great leaders build great teams by “getting the right people on the bus.”

Mourinho has trusted lieutenants that he brings into every team he manages. One of them is fitness coach Rui Faria, who has been with him at every club.

When Faria was asked what Mourinho’s secret was, he responded: “Every other top coach says they work hard and they prepare better than anyone else, but they can’t make what Mourinho does. Everything he does is better. He works harder than anyone else. He knows everything about every player and every game.”

Mourinho knows every single player’s strengths and weaknesses. He knows how to leverage their strengths fully as a team and minimise their weaknesses. And every single player knows each other’s strengths and this team self-awareness is the difference between Mourinho and other top coaches.

Mourinho himself displays great personal self-awareness when he quit football to focus on coaching. This “quitting” is termed the hedgehog principle by Collins.

It is simply to be very clear about what drives you and what you can be genuinely great at, and then relentlessly focus on that.

How many of us persist with things we know deep down, are not going to lead us to success? How many organisations persist on doing things the same way?

Insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results. Once, Mourinho was termed insane for making three substitutions in the first half of a game he was losing. Mourinho was just addressing the brutal reality of a situation.

Mourinho learnt quickly that there is no relationship whatsoever between functional expertise and managerial ability.

Managing emotions

“Players don’t win you trophies, teams win trophies, squads win trophies,” rants Mourinho daily. But Mourinho does much more than build teams. He builds leaders in each team he manages. At Chelsea, more than half his first team became captains of their national team.

To ensure you build high performance teams, you need to grow leaders. Leadership is needed in every part of your team. You cannot be a giant surrounded by midgets.

When Mourinho arrived at Chelsea there were no stars – he fashioned them. John Terry and Frank Lampard were good players he turned into world class.

He says: “You must work hard and work well. Many people work hard, but not well. You must create good leadership with the players, which is an accepted leadership, not leadership by power or status.”

If we look at back at our careers, most will admit that the period we developed the most was when a manager pushed us to our limit.

Mourinho, more than anyone else, believes in pushing a person to their limits, enabling his team to constantly move out of their comfort zone and into a courage zone.

Final thoughts

That is the lesson of Mourinho. We need special ones. We need leaders like Mourinho who have their mind’s eye focused. “The thing about Mourinho is that you don’t know what he’s going to do next but whatever it is, it will be because he thinks it is beneficial to the team,” says Barton.

Mourinho built numerous high performance teams being an authentic leader through the power of bonding. He worked hard and had thorough forensic preparation for each match but his unique relationship with his players, and his relentless focus made the difference. What are you doing to build high performance teams?



Roshan Thiran is CEO of Leaderonomics, a social enterprise passionate about creating a few Jose Mourinhos’ in Malaysia. For more information on how your organisation can build leaders, call +60123291968 or login to
www.leaderonomics.com.



Sumber: http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/8/21/business/6886083&sec=business

Talents

The only way talents can flourish is to let them believe in themselves.

Judgement

"What we’ve learned after spending all this time with CEOs is that judgment is a process."

Noel Tichy and Warren Bennis
http://www.bnet.com/2403-13056_23-368088.html?tag=content;col2

P&G's Cultural Revolution

by Noel Tichy, as told to Cait Murphy

Tags: Team, Procter & Gamble Co., Leader, AG Lafley, Team Management..., Leadership, Management, Tichy, Warren Bennis, University of Michigan, L?Oreal, mass channel, consumer products, Ed Artzt, Noel Tichy, as told to Cait Murphy, Noel Tichy, as told to Cait Murphy

Procter & Gamble makes stuff, most famously Tide laundry detergent, Crest toothpaste and Pampers diapers. Lafley has devoted enormous attention to keeping these iconic brands fresh. But his larger achievement, argues Noel Tichy, director of the Global Leadership Program at the University of Michigan business school, is a subtler one. Lafley, he says, dragged P&G out of its insular mindset. Tichy is the author, with Warren Bennis, of Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls (2007), in which the authors discuss AG Lafley’s leadership and tenure at P&G.

On judgment

I’ve written 12 books on leadership and my co-author, Warren Bennis, has written 37. What we’ve learned after spending all this time with CEOs is that judgment is a process. Business leaders don’t make decisions in a blink; that’s for firefighters and ER nurses.

There are only three really important buckets for decision-making: (1) who is on (and off) your team, (2) what mountain to climb, and (3) how you act when a storm hits. The most important is the first — God help you if you try to set a strategy with untrustworthy, stupid people.

Once you identify a need, you have to name and frame the decision that is required. Then you need to align key stakeholders, and finally, you must execute. To make a good decision, all three elements must work. In business, there is none of this “the operation was successful but the patient died” thing.

In the case of Clairol, A.G. Lafley identified the need: to fill out the portfolio. Then he made the case to stakeholders, in this case the board and senior leadership, to make the acquisition, rather than try to do it organically. And then the team executed, integrating the brand and creating new value. Clairol was clearly a significant strategic play. Anything you do early on, especially when a company is struggling, is both symbolically and substantively important to the company.

In another case, though, Lafley stumbled in one area — aligning stakeholders — and nearly jeopardized the decision. In 2001, he identified problems in the baby division. So one morning he named Deb Henretta, a marketing person, to take charge of it. By that afternoon, the revolution was on. “How could you turn over our sacred business to this outsider?” asked the veterans, many of who had engineering backgrounds. “What does she know about manufacturing diapers?” In fact, Lafley wanted Henretta there because she was not an engineer; he thought the division needed to think harder about the consumer. But by not aligning with the leadership team, he threatened to undermine the whole decision. After all, Henretta was going to need their help.

So Lafley did what we call a “re-do loop,” inviting senior members of the diaper team to a several-hour meeting to discuss the appointment and make the case for their own candidates. In the end, Lafley stuck with Henretta, but by listening and explaining his thinking, he was able to stop the rebellion from becoming destructive. And then they — Lafley, Henretta, and the team — executed, rejuvenating the division, in large part because it got a lot better at listening to consumers and delivering products they wanted.

On Lafley’s record as a leader

It is not too much to say that he literally saved the company; there was a lot of discussion back in 2000 about breaking it up. Since Lafley took over, P&G has gone from crisis-driven to consumer driven.

I remember reading studies in the 1970s and ’80s about P&G’s world-class manufacturing, how it got every penny out of manufacturing, and every penny out of every product. Inward looking and engineering dominated, the company was basically a manufacturing company producing consumer products. From Day 1, Lafley’s goal was to make P&G into a consumer-driven organization, and he has done that.

His most important legacy, though, is not how he strategically repositioned the company. That may be irrelevant two, three or five years from now. What is more important is how he has strengthened succession planning and the leadership pipeline; there are leaders in place at all levels. The worst indictment of any company or CEO is that there is no internal successor ready to step up. Lafley has put tremendous rigor, discipline and time into developing leaders. And when he stepped down in 2009, there was a homegrown successor, Robert McDonald, ready to step in to lead a very good company.

On the P&G’s culture

In the old days, honest to God, there were these big oak doors and dark halls. You would go in through one oak door, and then there would be a secretary guarding the next oak door. Now it is a really open environment, more campus-like, with the CEO sitting out there and available. Ripping out the oak and opening up the headquarters space really reflects the way Lafley thinks. In the last decade, P&G has become much more outward looking. It is more nimble and responsive to consumers; before, it was more a matter of, “We’ll tell you want you want.”

I remember being invited to help on leadership development when Ed Artzt was CEO [1990-95]. I was brought in to talk about GE’s work at its Crotonville leadership center with the head of human resources and some other leadership development people. Artzt started railing about, “Who’s bringing this Steven Covey junk here? What is all this about teamwork? What teams need are leaders!” And so on. That was my introduction to P&G

By contrast, I was recently involved with a project with P&G in which teams from six business schools (Texas, USC, Harvard, Michigan, Duke and Northwestern) were tasked with a real problem. Lafley told them the company would have about $50 billion in sustainable products by 2010. How, he asked, could he get the company’s employees engaged in sustainability wherever they are? Then he invited the winning team from each campus to Cincinnati, where they spent half a day with 20 P&G executives. At the end of the session, Lafley summed up and listed what ideas he was taking from each team. And it really happened. I mention this to show how he has a great commitment to getting ideas from anywhere. That is now a big part of the company culture, and it has not always been that way at P&G.

25 Pesanan Luqmanul Hakim

25 Pesanan Luqmanul Hakim
www.iluvislam.com
Kiriman: KhAlIfAh IsLaM
Editor : b_b

1. Hai anakku; ketahuilah, sesungguhnya dunia ini bagaikan lautan yang dalam, banyak manusia yang karam ke dalamnya. Bila engkau ingin selamat, agar jangan karam, layarilah lautan itu dengan SAMPAN yang bernama TAKWA, ISInya ialah IMAN danLAYARnya adalah TAWAKKAL kepada ALLAH.
2. Orang - orang yang sentiasa menyediakan dirinya untuk menerima nasihat, maka dirinya akan mendapat penjagaan dari ALLAH. Orang yang insaf dan sedarsetalah menerima nasihat orang lain, dia akan sentiasa menerima kemuliaan dari ALLAH juga.
3. Hai anakku; orang yang merasa dirinya hina dan rendah diri dalam beribadat dan taat kepada ALLAH, maka dia tawadduk kepada ALLAH, dia akan lebih dekat kepada ALLAH dan selalu berusaha menghindarkan maksiat kepada ALLAH.
4. Hai anakku; seandainya ibubapamu marah kepadamu kerana kesilapan yang dilakukanmu, maka marahnya ibubapamu adalah bagaikan baja bagi tanam tanaman.
5. Jauhkan dirimu dari berhutang, kerana sesungguhnya berhutang itu boleh menjadikan dirimu hina di waktu siang dan gelisah di waktu malam.
6. Dan selalulah berharap kepada ALLAH tentang sesuatu yang menyebabkan untuk tidak menderhakai ALLAH. Takutlah kepada ALLAH dengan sebenar benar takut ( takwa ), tentulah engkau akan terlepas dari sifat berputus asa dari rahmat ALLAH.
7. Hai anakku; seorang pendusta akan lekas hilang air mukanya kerana tidak dipercayai orang dan seorang yang telah rosak akhlaknya akan sentiasa banyak melamunkan hal hal yang tidak benar. Ketahuilah, memindahkan batu besar dari tempatnya semula itu lebih mudah daripada memberi pengertian kepada orang yang tidak mahu mengerti.
8. Hai anakku; engkau telah merasakan betapa beratnya mengangkat batu besar dan besi yang amat berat, tetapi akan lebih lagi daripada semua itu, adalah bilamana engkau mempunyai tetangga (jiran) yang jahat.
9. Hai anakku; janganlah engkau mengirimkan orang yang bodoh sebagai utusan. Maka bila tidak ada orang yang cerdik, sebaiknya dirimulah saja yang layak menjadi utusan.
10. Jauhilah bersifat dusta, sebab dusta itu mudah dilakukan, bagaikan memakan daging burung, padahal sedikit sahaja berdusta itu telah memberikan akibat yang berbahaya.
11. Hai anakku; bila engkau mempunyai dua pilihan, takziah orang mati atau hadir majlis perkahwinan, pilihlah untuk menziarahi orang mati, sebab ianya akan mengingatkanmu kepada kampung akhirat sedangkan menghadiri pesta perkahwinan hanya mengingatkan dirimu kepada kesenangan duniawi sahaja.
12. Janganlah engkau makan sampai kenyang yang berlebihan, kerana sesungguhnya makan yang terlalu kenyang itu adalah lebih baiknya bila makanan itu diberikan kepada anjing sahaja.
    
13. Hai anakku; janganlah engkau langsung menelan sahaja kerana manisnya barang dan janganlah langsung memuntahkan saja pahitnya sesuatu barang itu, kerana manis belum tentu menimbulkan kesegaran dan pahit itu belum tentu menimbulkan kesengsaraan.
14. Makanlah makananmu bersama sama dengan orang - orang yang takwa danmusyawarahlah urusanmu dengan para alim ulamak dengan cara meminta nasihat dari mereka.
15. Hai anakku; bukanlah satu kebaikan namanya bilamana engkau selalu mencari ilmu tetapi engkau tidak pernah mengamalkannya. Hal itu tidak ubah bagaikan orang yang mencari kayu bakar, maka setelah banyak ia tidak mampu memikulnya, padahal ia masih mahu menambahkannya.
16. Hai anakku; bilamana engkau mahu mencari kawan sejati, maka ujilah terlebih dahulu dengan berpura pura membuat dia marah. Bilamana dalam kemarahan itu dia masih berusaha menginsafkan kamu,maka bolehlah engkau mengambil dia sebagai kawan. Bila tidak demikian, maka berhati hatilah.
17. Selalulah baik tutur kata dan halus budi bahasamu serta manis wajahmu, dengan demikian engkau akan disukai orang melebihi sukanya seseorang terhadap orang lain yang pernah memberikan barang yang berharga.
18. Hai anakku; bila engkau berteman, tempatkanlah dirimu padanya sebagai orang yang tidak mengharapkan sesuatu daripadanya. Namun biarkanlah dia yang mengharapkan sesuatu darimu.
19. Jadikanlah dirimu dalam segala tingkahlaku sebagai orang yang tidak ingin menerima pujian atau mengharap sanjungan orang lain kerana itu adalah sifat riya~ (riak) yang akan mendatangkan cela pada dirimu.
20. Hai anakku; janganlah engkau condong kepada urusan dunia dan hatimu selalu disusahkan olah dunia saja kerana engkau diciptakan ALLAH bukanlah untuk dunia sahaja. Sesungguhnya tiada makhluk yang lebih hina daripada orang yang terpedaya dengan dunianya.
21. Hai anakku; usahakanlah agar mulutmu jangan mengeluarkan kata kata yang busuk dan kotor serta kasar, kerana engkau akan lebih selamat bila berdiam diri. Kalau berbicara, usahakanlah agar bicaramu mendatangkan manfaat bagi orang lain.
22. Hai anakku; janganlah engkau mudah ketawa kalau bukan kerana sesuatu yang menggelikan, janganlah engkau berjalan tanpa tujuan yang pasti, janganlah engkau bertanya sesuatu yang tidak ada guna bagimu, janganlah mensia siakan hartamu.
23. Barang sesiapa yang penyayang tentu akan disayangi, sesiapa yang pendiam akan selamat daripada berkata yang mengandungi racun, dan sesiapa yang tidak dapat menahan lidahnya dari berkata kotor tentu akan menyesal.
24. Hai anakku; bergaullah rapat dengan orang yang alim lagi berilmu. Perhatikanlah kata nasihatnya kerana sesungguhnya sejuklah hati ini mendengarkan nasihatnya, hiduplah hati ini dengan cahaya hikmah dari mutiara kata katanya bagaikan tanah yang subur lalu disirami air hujan.
25. Hai anakku; ambillah harta dunia sekadar keperluanmu sahaja, dan nafkahkanlah yang selebihnya untuk bekalan akhiratmu. Jangan engkau tendang dunia ini ke keranjang atau bakul sampah kerana nanti engkau akan menjadi pengemis yang membuat beban orang lain. Sebaliknya janganlah engkau peluk dunia ini serta meneguk habis airnya kerana sesungguhnya yang engkau makan dan pakai itu adalah tanah belaka. Janganlah engkau bertemankan dengan orang yang bersifat talam dua muka, kelak akan membinasakan dirimu.

Sumber: http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=1475

It Is

It Is
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.